Phil Collins: Real

When it was time to make a video to help promote his latest singles, Phil Collins didn't mess around. Phil Collins went big.

How big?

Oh, how about hiring famous comedian GILBERT GODFRIED? That big. And, oh, how about adding former Miss America VANESSA WILLIAMS?

Yeah. That's right. But that's not all.

How about, oh, say, adding the most famous professional wrestler at the moment (in 1989ish) THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR?

Yeah, Phil Collins didn't mess around. He was an artist, he was an entertainer, and he was a genius.



It was moments like that, that led to moments like this. Phil Collins cashing in on his street cred. Check him out here standing around, looking like a bad MF, while Bone Thugs n Harmony drop melodic rhymes over a classic Collins beat.



I say we take all those Chuck Norris jokes and replace them with Phil Collins jokes. Man earned it.

American Gladiator, where are you now?

They don't make men like Malibu anymore.



No, no. Malibu is a man of the past. A man of 1990.
In 2007, the closest we get to Malibu is Dog the Bounty Hunter.
And comparing Malibu to Dog the Bounty Hunter is like comparing Spicoli to Ted Nugent.
Or comparing The Juice Crew to Dipset.
Or comparing Surge to Rockstar Energy Drink.

Uh, What?

Dear Sister: Va. Tech Remix

Ok, the title is misleading. I'm a misleader.

Last Saturday night, SNL featured a pretty funny "digital short" featuring surreal/dark humor and poked fun at the OC and the ubiquitous use of Imogen Heap.

Here's the scene from the OC that is referenced:




Here's SNL's "Dear Sister" (not sure if that's the actual name of the skit:)


(this video isnt an official NBC youtube video, and could possibly be a dead link by the time you're reading this.)

Well, this was pretty funny Saturday night. But NBC has taken it down from their youtube site, presumably due to the events that occured at Virgina Tech on Monday morning.

Which brings up these questions:

Q. If this was funny Saturday, why isn't it funny today?

Q. Did people die from gun violence on Friday?

Q. How many people must die during one event to make it a national tragedy? 3? 5? 12? 32? 5000?

Q. How many news stories does it take to make an individual feel personally effected by another people's tragedy?

Q. How long will it take for a short film featuring absurdist humor about gun violence to be popularly (as opposed to privately, among friends) funny again?

Q. Did Imogen Heap spontaneously play 32 times today at Va Tech?

Q. Is it just me, or does the real life massacre actually add more absurdity to the film, which, in part, was mocking the manufactured sentimentality of pop music?

It'll Leave Skidmarks... On Your Soul

We need to talk about this commercial for Atari's Pole Position.

I discovered it via the "random videos" feature.


"HEEEEY!
You look like a real JERK!"

"Well I am a corporate executive."

This thing is jam packed with 80s cliches and 80s production values.




Its amazing how unsophisticated the advertising industry was back then, compared to now. I mean, conceptually, its genius. But the execution isn't quite on point. Twelve year old kids are making higher quality videos on youtube every day.

But then again, today's elite advertising agencies would probably spend millions to try to reproduce the horrible quality of these commercials, and not be able to get it right.

I mean, check this shit out:



The fact that this is an actual commercial, advertising a product, blows my friggin mind.

Random Videos (that thing on the right)

Check out the new feature over there ---->
Its some new fandangled video thing courtesy of google.

Crack Bang does not vouch for the content or quality of these videos. But check 'em out if you want to waste some time.

Crack Bang Literary Review hosted by Glenn Danzig

Shirtless rock stars arn't just bottemless pits of drugs, alcohol and venereal diseases. Sometimes, they are intellectual creatures as well. Sometimes.

Sit back and soak in the knowledge as Glenn Danzig takes you for a brief tour through his library, circa 1980something. Take notes.



Is it me or does this seem like a deleted scene from Boogie Nights? I half expect the camera to pan over to John C. Reilly dressed in a druid cloak with cop shades and a white headband, trying to add something but mispronouncing the word "beelzebub."

oh look. alanis morissette is all funny and stuff.

If you can stand Alanis Morissette, you might find this amusing. If not, it just sounds like another one of her songs and you'll probably want to punch your computer.

Which is the point, of course - it's making fun of herself and making fun of Fergie at the same time. Ok, whatever.

She does look pretty nice when she sluts herself up though.